I Should Have Read the Book

As a young father of twins my idea of good parenting involved being cool,rather than being the yelling-all-day father I had experienced growing up. Bad idea? Maybe. But as any parent knows,
kids don’t come with an instruction book, and you just have to take your best shot.

Anyway, when the twins were five I decided to do something really special for them on Easter Sunday, something to permanently establish my street creds as a cool dad. Our Easter celebration was to take place at our home where I lived with my now less than favorite ex-wife, and I was in charge that day of the boys, my stepdaughter and much younger brother. Thinking like a pro I started them out by doing some Easter egg coloring, dunking each egg on a little, bent metal contraption into a vinegary liquid. This worked out well, but took all of 30 minutes. I still had a whole day ahead of us and the kids were already getting restless.

” How about an Easter egg hunt? ” I said.

” Bo-ring! ”

Thinking quickly, I marked each egg. “See?” I said, holding one up. “Every egg has a price written on it. Find the egg, bring it to me, and i’ll pay you the price.”

Well, that put a whole new spin on the thing. Money-lust in their hearts, they couldn’t wait to get started. The hunt lasted all of twenty minutes plus another twenty pushing the furniture
back in place. If you don’t have children of your own, ask any parent what some kids will do for a prize. I can honestly say I witnessed a five-year-old move a capodimonte breakfront in a
desperate quest for a colored egg marked 50 cents. Still, when it was over I had managed to fill up only one hour of the day, and now had four kids under the age of ten looking at me as though I
was the cruise director on a Disney ship who had run out of stuff to do.