Stories

The New Great Escape

The New Great Escape The beams from the yard’s flood lights are dissected by the bars on my cage. My relic of a clock radio tells me it’s almost 5am. I can’t remember where I got that clock anymore, but it’s exactly like the one my Mother had on her nightstand decades ago, you know…
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The Combination

The Combination In my last Zap Tale, I conveyed how over the course of a decade of doing the prison thing, I grew to despise the morning count bell. Most convicts see it as an alarm clock. Others sleep through it though I don’t know how they could. When they do, the C.O. takes great…
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March of the Convicts

March of the Convicts When people think of the things they could lose when they go to prison, after your freedom, the big-ticket items are the first to come to mind. In no particular order it’s: the wife, the house, and the car, usually with the wife driving it. Also, each of us has a…
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Winter Games

Winter Games Many of you have noticed “Zap Tales” are morphing into “Prison Tales.” As to be perfectly honest my memories of when I walked amongst you are evaporating as fast as a pot smoking Alzheimer’s patient. There are only so many drunk monkeys to go around in one’s lifetime. However, since you enjoy reading my…
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Deja Screams

Deja Screams It is way too late to do the coffee thing, and much too early to turn on the idiot box because they’re still hawking lotions, potions, and miracles in small bottles. I can’t write as I am at a loss for the right words, and an entire paragraph is all but impossible. If…
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The Neighbors

The Neighbors Most of you are reading this from the comfort of your own home, a place – whether rented, owned or inherited – is the place you chose to live. Some of you may want an extra room, a new kitchen, or maybe a second or third bathroom, and for the most part you…
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Why

Why Instead of walking around oblivious since the dawn of time, man has questioned damn near everything in existence; from why the sky is blue, to the meaning of life itself, and everything in between. Science says the skies are dark blue from the reflection of our oceans and from a biblical standpoint, whichever church…
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The Great Pretenders

The Great Pretenders Some time ago, I wrote “Facebook Gangsters” in which your average working guy could transform from being your co-worker with the pocket protector, to a modern version of Vlad the Impaler. Not the Bram Stoker version in which he turned into Dracula, but the actual person, who would rip his victims heads off and…
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A Tough One to Explain

A Tough One to Explain For the past month I have been “keep locked” which in correctional terms is getting grounded after you break a rule. Your cell is locked for a specific period of time and your food comes through the slot in the steel door. In some facilities, to ensure your cage does…
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To Tell the Truth

To Tell the Truth You’re sitting in your comfortable chair watching late night TV. On the screen is a preview of the next film. The cast of characters are as follows: Five throw-away kids, a hungry-for-a-conviction prosecutor, and a slew of decorated police officers that are going to convict the guilty parties, then solve the…
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